First, I realized I was no longer learning. Situations began to repeat themselves, and companies started to look increasingly similar. I also discovered that the thrill of being proud of advising others, which initially motivated me to start consulting, was no longer compelling or necessary for me.
Second, I felt I wasn't building anything I could own in the long term; my need for ownership was clearly unmet. Similarly, my need for belonging was unfulfilled—people and companies changed, but I always remained an outsider.
My energy was flowing in one direction only: outward, with no chance to achieve balance and get some energy back. While I helped many CTOs, PMOs, TOs, PMs, and executives, I realized I hadn't been helping myself.
In conclusion, I decided that my next mission is to focus on one thing, with the same people, and build something together for the long term.
So, I switched to a CIO position. My first impression is that it is a far better position to promote personal and systemic change than that of a Transformation Coach. It is much more effective than being an external consultant because my voice is from the inside.
Being a CIO provides me with a better ability to be effective and create a higher impact.
Playing this role comes naturally to me this time. I am finally capable of leveraging people skills, tech skills, and organizational skills. I must admit it wasn't the case the last time I held a similar role. I spent a decade maturing after acting as an IT director for the first time.
The journey is everything. I can now openly recommend myself as an IT director to any company, which was not the case ten years ago. But that's just a side effect ;) Primarily, I feel I am using my energy for the right thing. I derive my actions (again!) from my personal inner locus. This feels really good.